Radical Intimacy - Recently Updated Pages

intimacy as activism

tickledspirit — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:09:43 CDT

Radical Intimacy is about more than just creating a healthy and fulfilling relationship between you and me -- it's also about creating a culture that is more conducive for intimacy. In a radically intimate culture, opportunities for intimate connections are widely available and welcomed.

One vision: I'm having a hard day, and I'm walking down the street crying openly (which doesn't make the people around me uncomfortable). I get offers for hugs or time to talk from friends and strangers alike. Whether I accept or decline, I know that the people around me welome my truth, and I feel their compassion reflected in my own compassion towards myself.

Intimacy as activism involves bringing intimacy into the public. "Visibility actions" of crying, loving, and sharing deeply in public spaces can help other people feel comfortable doing the same. We can invite others to participate in public intimacy by making eye contact with strangers. More broadly, intimacy as activism can involve redefining the traditional schedule of work all day, watch TV all night, party with friends on the weekends. Instead, we can create alternative possibilities where we work with our friends, working shorter hours because we need less money because we barter and gift within our network of intimates (and beyond!). We share our experiments, our lessons, and our challenges with others who have similar desires for a more intimate life.

a brief history of intimacy

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:43:53 CDT

the development of romantic love cross culturally (ex. troubadours, sufi poets)
the origins of patriarchy and gender roles and how these determine contemporary relationships and how ideas of gender and relationships are changing

Home

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:39:49 CDT

This model looks at intimate relationships in progression from intimacy with self to intimacy with others, one's relationship with one's self establishing the foundation or basis for one's relationships with others. In the search for a satisfying intimate life, self-awareness and self-love are key. The development of numerous other personal characteristics are also key, including honesty, compassion, trust, discernment, thoughtfulness, generosity, etc.

This model sees vulnerability as essential to intimacy. If intimacy is characterized as an indepth knowing of another how can that knowning be attained if not through allowing one's self to be known? And does that knowledge not have the potential to be used maliciously? Trusting that knowing will lead to loving and openly sharing one's self with others leads one on the path to the depths of intimacy.

But the true depths of intimacy lie so far within that following the path of intimacy is ultimatly and fundamentally a personal journey. Externally, I am the only person who will have been with me my entire life. Internally, the deepest experience I can have with myself is not something I can share with anyone else and is beyond the comprehension of the mind. But great peace is found in that experience and it is a powerful place from which to relate to the world.

sex and intimacy

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:29:29 CDT

Our society concepts of sex and intimacy have collapsed into each other, which is to say that generally one assumes them to be a package deal. Clearly this is not totally true. The prevelance of pornography is a striking counter example. However most people, especially men, look for and find their most satisfying experiences of intimacy in sexual/romantic relationships.

According to dictionary.com, the 6th definition for intimacy is "sexual intercourse."

Why is this?
What is the effect on society when unstable, short-term relationships are encouraged at the expense of their opposite?
What does a non-sexual intimate relationship look like? Can it be as satisfying as a sexual one?

polyamory: what it is and how (not) to do it

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:17:58 CDT

There is no abstract available for this page revision.

jealousy

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:17:02 CDT

There is no abstract available for this page revision.

from tribalism to hyper-individualism

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:09:46 CDT

When we speak about relationships, as in "in my current relationship," we often mean our current romantic/sexual partner. This points to the the central position this kind of relationship holds in our societys understanding of relationships and the priority it is given. Having moved past tribe, extended family, and nuclear family, mainstream western society is geared towards couples, though just barely - singles are approaching the top position. This is no accident but a direct result of industrial capitalism. The smaller the unit of human habitation the larger the market.

relationship

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:08:38 CDT

On the broadest level, the relationship is the defining context for interaction. Everyone is constantly in relationship. I have a relationship with myself. I have familial and friendship relationships. I have online relationships. I have allies and adversaries. A relationship can be created for any purpose(s). Any kind of identity creates a relationship with others who share identity. I am in relationship with every other human being for the simple reason that we are human beings living on this planet. I have relationships with every element of the non-human environment. Transcendental cosmology notwithstanding, it is relationships that shape my identity.

When we speak about relationships, as in "in my current relationship," we often mean our current romantic/sexual partner. This points to the the central position this kind of relationship holds in our societys understanding of relationships and the priority it is given. Having moved past tribe, extended family, and nuclear family, mainstream western society is geared towards couples, though just barely - singles are approaching the top position. This is no accident but a direct result of industrial capitalism. The smaller the unit of human habitation the larger the market.

definitions

skybluestar — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 16:45:09 CDT

relationship